Thursday, May 30

love letters: dear Jesus.☺

dear Jesus,

good morning to You my Lord and my God! how is everything in heaven? i know for sure that all is fine, all is well. i decided to write this letter because i realized that i was too caught up in this worldly life that i haven't shared my stories to you lately. while you continue to unfold your part of the tale to me everyday i was busy troubling on what to do, what not to do and completely forgot that i could rely on you. my prayers became scripted and formatted. where were my spontaneous thoughts and ideas? have they been in long deep slumber that i couldn't wake those up? i used to be me...whenever i talked to you but now it seemed that i have put a gorge-wide gap between us. 

i am guilty as a criminal when i say all this my Lord.

i am deeply sorry for the sins that i have committed. i am sorry for the things i did to hurt you and the people around me. here i am again knocking on your door to give me a chance. :) i know your are a God of Chances, please give me one more. 

i also wrote this letter to ask you for help. this kind of help is not to ask for blessings for you have already showered mine, this SOS i seek is an advice my Lord. advice on what to do in this point of my life. i'm not really confused on what i want to do...its the "what i have to do" part that i'm having a hard time deciphering. if only there are books that could just direct you to the right way of living i bet i'll be buying those at all cost! however in this life that you lend me my Lord, there are current events that i could not understand or don't want to understand.

i have always lived by the rules. as much as possible i can't stand breaking these morals but my current situation, i have this urge to go out of bounce, break the code!!! i don't care anymore!!! i don't care what will people think of me, the heck, i don't care what they'll say about me. i just want that feeling of release. sometimes i thought it might be an excuse to do this if i weren't literate. i even wished that i could be illiterate for just 1 day and get this act over with. i have this mixed emotion of anger and confusion pent up inside of me. i tried so hard to contain this deadly cocktail but bursts of it continue to surface and push me to do things i would not do on a normal basis.

however...through Mama Mary's intercession and grace that i could just let it all go. :') i thank your mother oh Lord for always being with me. whenever i call her she is quick to respond. just like you, she held me back with a hug to help me avoid the actions that i would really regret on doing. this blessing is wonderful and i could not thank you enough for it. 

i would also like to thank you for the following people:

1. Fr. Edison- thank you for him and his new ministry in our parish. he has been a kind priest to me. :) i learned new things because of him like adobe photoshop, simplicity, and most of all discipline. please bless him always and please guide him into leading his new flock towards goodness and holiness.

2. Padz- i miss him everyday Jesus but i know that our padz had taught us well and is now ready to teach other young servers of the Lord. please let him feel that i love him so much! please bless his health, his family that i have also loved, and his new parish. 

3. Tito Pol, Tito Manny, Tito Deo, Tito Lito- the so called F4. thank you for them! they have been a blessing not only to our parish but to our lives as well. all i ask is to help them stop smoking. its bad for their health. :) please make them strong and may they continue to serve the parish with fervor and heart.

4. my friends- you know who they are. :) i thank you for them because they are friends not just in need but friends indeed. although we may have differences and short-comings, we still gotten over those obstacles to continue to be in the presence of each other. i thank you for their lives and their jobs and families. please continue to bless them.

5. my family- they have been with me for all the days of my life. i  thank you for letting me be a part of this clan. :) thank you Lord for we are still together, happy, and contented. :)

6. Aaron- he is the wild card. :))) hahaha! i really don't know why i feel so much for him but i love the fact that i'm clueless. he is the calm in my storm, that encouraging voice when i'm down, a warm love that could dissolve hate and anger in my heart. thank you for him. :) please bless him oh Lord and please grant him a job that he will love. :)

lastly, please bless my haters/enemies i know that they are everywhere. :) please bless them always and please also give them happiness and peace. 

thank you my Lord for all the wondrous things that you've given me. i'll be waiting on those advice? haha. i know i'll get them later on the day. thank you again. i feel better now. :) thank you again. :)

i will be writing soon! :)


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